To close or not to close

Well, here we are in the midst of another blizzard. It's beginning to look like this is going to be a serious winter.

I closed the library, after doing my usual dithering. At eight o'clock when my alarm went off (Wednesday is the only day I have to get up to an alarm clock, as it is the only day I must be to work before 11. Late starting times are definitely one of the benefits of my current job -- starting the work day at 8 or 8:30 was always an agony for me.) I saw that it wasn't snowing all that hard. Maybe we should go ahead and open, and then close early (the storm was supposed to get worse as the day wore on). There were several reasons I considered this possibility. 1) I was out sick yesterday, and really didn't need to be losing another day of work. 2) Like me, my staff is paid only for hours worked, so the two women who normally work on Wednesdays would be losing pay. For one of them this is no big deal, for the other it is. 3) I know that a number of hardy souls who live in the immediate vicinity of the library would be glad to have it open. We have several patrons like this: retired, not much to do, very dependent on the reading matter they obtain from the library to give them something to do. 4) What if the storm turned out to be not all that bad -- we would have "wasted" one of our "snow days." Not that we have a set number, but when you close too often, your public begins to lose faith in you ("what, they're closed again?!") And this is Maine, where it is generally expected that one will carry on, despite the weather.

Finally, at nine, I called my staff member who normally opens on Wednesday, and who lives just three blocks from the library. She is also the one who dislikes losing hours. I figured if she was up for going in for a while she could do so, but I had decided I was not going in. It was rapidly looking worse out there, and it just seemed unnecessarily foolish (sometimes it is necessary to be a little foolish) to be making that 15-minute drive from Gardiner to Hallowell on what would certainly be treacherous streets -- after spending an exhausting half hour digging my car out -- and then having to come back again in two or three hours. As usual I got Sue's answering machines -- Sue and her husband are in that elite group of people who not only screen all their calls, but never pick up, so you always have to wait for them to call you back (I admit I do not understand this at all). However, Sue did not call me back, which confused me; surely she wouldn't have left for work already. She was scheduled to arrive at 9:30, to prepare for the 10 o'clock opening, and it would take her two minutes to get there if she drove, maybe 10 if she walked.

By 9:30 I knew we should not be opening. I had contacted the delivery service that brings and picks up our Interlibrary Loan books on Wed., to tell them we would be closed, had contacted the chairman of our Board of Trustees, (by phone, as for some reason Yahoo Mail picked this particular time not to give me access to my email account), to tell him we were closed, and to ask him to convey that info. to the rest of the Board. I did this because he had sent out an email last night, about the Board meeting scheduled for this evening, telling us to "watch the weather; we may have to cancel. If the library is closed we will definitely cancel." I think he was relieved to get my message, and promised to pass along the info., and said he would be cancelling tonight's meeting, as well.

However, I still hadn't talked to Sue. I tried to reach her several times between 9:30 and 10 at the library. I have told my staff not to answer the phone when we are not open, as I think it's important for people to understand that, just like any other business, we have hours when we are open, and hours when we are closed; but I knew that when I was not there Sue frequently disregarded this stricture. I hasten to add that this is not because of a basically rebellious nature, but because for Sue helping patrons is a sacred duty, and whether they call at 7 a.m. or 10 p.m. -- if she's there, she feels duty-bound to answer, and help them if she can. However, I got no answer, even after 10 a.m. -- except for the message I had had my staff put on the answering machine last night, saying if you're hearing this message during our regular hours on Wednesday it means we are closed due to the storm -- so I had to infer that a combination of my rather cryptic message to her home phone ("we need to talk about our opening"), combined with the state of the weather, had convinced her that we were not opening today. And when she finally called me, 11-ish, that turned out to be the case.

Well, I've gone on and on, when here is the real crux of the matter: it drives me crazy that I have such a hard time making this kind of decision. Perhaps it's a lack of faith in my own judgment, combined with a fear of not meeting the expectations of others. Perhaps I am just cursed by being so aware of all possibilities and ramifications...or perhaps the curse is being paralyzed by that awareness. Whatever is the cause, I must say it's a drag...