I went to a garden party...

This weekend I made the three-hour drive to Boston to attend the 60th birthday party of a friend whom I know from what I call my Boston days (1976 - 1995). I met David originally through his long-time partner -- now his husband, since the enlightened state of Massachusetts made that possible -- as Robert and I worked for the same organization. The three of us share a love of music, and attended numerous concerts together, including some in which Robert played (viola). Even now David brightens up my Facebook page with numerous links to opera singers singing their hearts out.

What's really shocking is that despite living only a three-hour drive apart for the past 6 1/2 years, we hadn't managed to see one another since 1999. On my part, I fear it's been this tremendous inertia that has pretty much kept me from going anyplace, at least by car. Is it aging, I ask myself, this aversion to driving? I made a trip to Pennsylvania in 2009, to attend the graduation from college of my goddaughter (see Note of May 24, 2009), and a trip to Binghamton, NY, in 2010, to attend the graduation from high school of the only son of one of my college roommates (Note of July 1, 2010); other than that, there was a trip to the same area in upstate New York for some genealogical research, a big interest of mine. Other than that I can't seem to make myself move.

As far as trips to Boston go, I've been down only three times in the past 6 1/2 years, twice at Christmas time, at the invitation of another friend from my Boston days, when the desire not to spend Christmas alone was sufficient motivation to get me moving. The other time was at the invitation of yet another friend, and I felt that weekend was hers, did not want to be running all over the Boston area seeing other people.

But to return to this weekend's party: it was a terrific party. There was lots of food (I thought the hors d'oeuvres were it, so was consuming great quantities of shrimp with cocktail sauce and spanakopita, when suddenly the barbeque arrived, followed by the vegetarian pizzas!), lots to drink (I had three Jesse James Bourbons on the rocks -- have you ever heard of Jesse James Bourbon? I certainly hadn't -- while most people were drinking one of the several kinds of beer available, white wine, or Margaritas), and lots of people, most of whom I didn't know, but with many of whom I spent at least a few minutes chatting. Despite being a basically shy and reserved person, I can do this fairly easily at a party; actually enjoy getting little capsule explanations of who people are, what they do, how they know so-and-so.

The most interesting conversation I had was with a second generation Cuban, whose parents came to Boston in the '50s, before the Communist takeover. His older brother was born in Cuba; he was born here. Said this country had been very good to his parents, and to himself; the American Dream busy getting realized.

I'd have to say the most unusual aspect of the party were all the little Shih Tzu running around underfoot. David raises these cute little dogs that look like walking dust mops for show & selling; a number of the people there knew him from having bought puppies from him. Fortunately, Shih Tzu don't usually bark -- my biggest objection to dogs -- and they are pretty darned adorable, so i didn't mind them, even though you had to be careful that you didn't step on one!

Although David was busy buzzing about from one group to another, and greeting the almost non-stop flow of guests, so that we were not able to talk much, I was able to have a couple of good chats with Robert. We share an interest in genealogy -- it was a long-held belief of his that he was related to Jesse James (a belief that has now been dashed, alas) that resulted in a short-lived obsession with all things Jesse James-ish...hence, the Jesse James Bourbon.

David and Robert, by the way, have been together longer than many heterosexual couples, and as far as I know have not adversely affected a single hetero-sexual marriage in all that time. They're sweet, funny, generous people, and it was good to see them both, and to see that they're "still crazy after all these years." I just hope we don't go another 13 years without seeing each other.